I’ve just chatted with my crushed, you know, my INTP friend. I told that the one which I cursed after my ex is him. It seems my Te was out. I told him with laughing, it’s like we talk about other feeling. No, it’s like I talk about other feeling. So natural, honest, a lot of humour, a little bit sarcasm, and I can feel he is really kind person. He tried to be so normal and warm to not let my heart hurts. I was confused telling him or not. I was scared our little friendship would be broken. But it seems it’s not. I’m glad he can see me still as a friend. Truthfully, I can see him as friend now even though there is a little place in my heart that makes me cried when I was alone.
Emotional sensitivity. They can take everything very personally. I have to avoid certain topics with my INFP because no matter how I approach it he takes it as a personal attack. He’s normally very logical, but he’ll make blatant fallacies in cases like this. I frequently have to tiptoe around his feelings. I always try my best not to hurt feelings, but being an INTJ sometimes my best isn’t good enough.
Bottling up emotions. He shows nothing outwardly, even if he’s breaking inside. If he’s a little off I can tell and that usually means there’s something BIG going on underneath- he’s just not letting on. I have to work really hard to get him to confide in me. Part of it is that he “doesn’t want me worrying.”
In The Full Monty there’s a character who loses his job and never tells his wife. Six months pass and she’s still spending money like normal, but he doesn’t want to worry her so he hides it, pretends to go to work every day, all the while trying frantically to find employment. She only finds out when the repo men come to claim everything in their house. I could see my husband doing something like that. So I probe whenever I see cracks in his facade. I remind him that we’re a partnership and in this together. He’s now seeing a therapist regularly so that helps give him a confidential outlet for his anxiety.
Lack of follow through. I don’t like turning into a stereotypical nagging wife just to get him to do something, but he drags his feet on just about everything. He’ll also forget things a lot though he doesn’t even realize he does this. I know my memory sucks so I make lists and reminders and alarms to compensate. He doesn’t. I still don’t know how to deal with this problem.
Favorite aspects: (I don’t know if these are strictly INFP traits or if they’re just him.)
Caring. He’s very empathetic and cares very much about other people. He won’t give money to a homeless person but he will buy them lunch. If he sees something wrong he will take steps to fix it- like calling immediately to report a road hazard or car fire. I’ll admit that I used to have a lot of bystander apathy with things like this (not my problem, someone else will have already called), but his actions have made me more aware and now I try to make small differences too when I can.
Big Dreams. They’re often not practical dreams, but he has an “anything is possible” outlook which I love. Sometimes I get really bogged down with the negatives. This will never work. Why do I even bother trying? He helps me to try more and get out of my rut. Theorizing isn’t particularly useful if you never do anything about it.
Calm in a crisis and great people skills. I suck at people. He’s great with people. He’s also a really good leader, though he personally doesn’t like the responsibility. At work he’s avoided management positions just because he doesn’t think he has what it takes to fire someone. He’s a raid leader in World of Warcraft and he’s very skilled at it. I’ll watch him rant and rave and facepalm when his raiders fuck up but when he gets back on Vent his voice is absolutely calm and polite.
Future-oriented. We are both fascinated (and horrified) with where humanity is headed.
1. Who you are now is not who you will be in 10 years. It is okay to be somebody new 10 minutes from now. We are always learning. We are always growing. If you realized 10 seconds ago that you don’t like who you are, shed your skin, retry, replant yourself in good soil.
2. Cleaning is instant therapy. When your brain is muddy, take a shower, wash your hands, change your clothes. Spend 15 minutes straightening your living room. When you are angry, scrub things. I know it’s crazy but it works instantly.
3. Forgive someone’s debt if it’s under 50 dollars, forgive the small things, give a little time to yourself and forgive the big things too. Forgiveness isn’t about the other person, it’s about you. That being said - if someone ever hurts you in a way that would make me cry to know, you get out of there, my love. You just get up and go.
4. Gum karma is real and if you spit out a piece in public expect to find some on your shoe in the future. Same goes for insults and harsh judgement, too.
5. Do what you love and the money will follow.
6. Live your life with an open palm and give as much as you can and as often. At some point in your life, someone will lend you 50 bucks when you’re down on your luck. Remember how that feels. Remember to give that back.
7. Always wear clean underwear. You’ll thank me later.
8. There is a difference between being kind and being passive and there are those who cannot see that difference. They will try to walk all over you. Never bend your knees for those who do.
9. Have faith. Have faith in god or people or yourself or science or in luck or in all of the above. Faith is what keeps us going, faith is what keeps us strong.
10. Pay your bills on time whenever you can, although money is nothing. Remind yourself that.
11. Do not forget you were once ignorant of all you know now. Be patient of anyone who hasn’t had the education you have. Speak at the level of the person you are with - it’s not playing dumb, it’s being considerate. There’s no reason to make them feel uncomfortable. Plus then when someone starts going off about their superior IQ, you can cut them to pieces and watch their face when you do.
12. You are the best person in the room for one particular thing, and that’s confidence. You are the worst person in the room for another thing, and that’s humility. Use both carefully.
13. Never make fun of someone’s beliefs or superstitions, let your kid keep their imaginary friend and let your best buddy believe in knocking on wood. We all have security blankets. Don’t take away someone else’s.
14. Try to learn something new every day.
15. The worse you look, the more likely you are to run into someone you know so instead of feeling awkward, learn to be confident in sweats while talking to your friends.
16. Never go to bed angry, it will ruin your sleep and make tomorrow even harder. Find a way to relax. Don’t let today get to your head.
17. Think before you speak. When someone says something, mull over their words before answering. This is called listening, it is different than hearing.
18. What keeps love beautiful is that there’s risk involved. If he breaks your heart and it doesn’t hurt, it wasn’t love in the first place.
19. Never let someone else determine who you are or how happy. You are too strong to be torn apart.
20. I love you, even when we are fighting, even when I am fast asleep. Don’t doubt it for an instant. You are my everything."
Advice from an 80 year old man…………
1. Have a firm handshake.
2. Look people in the eye.
3. Sing in the shower.
4. Own a great stereo system.
5. If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
6. Keep secrets.
7. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.
8. Always accept an outstretched…
I might be the only infp that does this but I can’t STAND when I want to show someone something and they don’t pay attention. Like, when I want to show them a video or explain something and they’re texting and ignoring everything. It makes me sick feeling…..
yes me too, that’s why when they do that, I won’t tell the next word and suddenly being silent. If they ask me what happens, I will say “ah, I forget it.”
I realized that around me, (this is not generally applied)
ISFP admire and look up to INFP
INFP admire and look up to INTJ
INTJ admire each other (another INTJ)
INFJ admire and look up to ENTJ
ENTJ had slight jealousy to ENTP
ENTP love themselves (another ENTP)
INTP admire ENFP
ENFP wanna be like ISTJ
ISTJ don’t bother to compare themselves to others.